At one point during this journey I joined a small group of women reading Likkutei Moharan early in the morning. Hashem sent me a lifeline that enlightened me and helped me keep my sanity.
The past few months we read chapter 60, in which Rabbi Nachman talks about effecting Divine providence for barren women to have children.
“This is likewise the aspect of “Open your mouth for the mute,” which in turn brings about the aspect of unbinding the mouth of the barren. These words, which had been repressed inside them for so long because they were deaf and mute, now emerge, and they do so with great strength”
Rabbi Nachman explains that by telling stories from ancient times, those who are spiritually asleep are aroused to speak to G-d, which effects special Divine providence allowing barren women to conceive and bear children.
In this light, I want to share the following story from ancient times:
Vatomer Devorah el Barak ( Shoftim 4:6)
Devorah spoke to Barak and said that Hashem commanded him to go and attack Sisera, the Canaanite general who oppressed the Israelites with his 900 iron chariots, and Hashem would give Sisera into his hands. Barak says he will only go if she goes with him, and Devorah agrees. She adds that the glory will not be on his way because Hashem will give over Sisera in the hands of a woman (Yael).
Sisera’s 900 iron chariots represent technological superiority. The Malbim explains that Sisera relied on external dominance and control through force. He achieved many victories; however, he left many people trampled and crushed. Now I understand why Devorah said Hashem will give over Sisera into the hands of a woman. According to the talmud, “Bina yeseirah nitnah ba’ishah”- Extra discernment was given to a woman. It was not Barak’s military strength that defeated Sisera, rather it was Yaels discernment and timing.
I can’t help but think of these words when it comes to ART-assistive reproductive technology. In the fertility field, there is a lot of silence regarding the prevalence of uterine inflammation and other common underlying conditions that affect the outcome of fertility treatments, as well as the need for them. These diagnostics, context and environmental clues are considered secondary to moving through increasing levels of technology, including ivf. Retrospectively, 30 -55% of women, and more in the case of “unexplained infertility”, are investing in a process with very low success rates because of their underlying inflammatory condition. A lot of people are crushed, physically, emotionally, and financially. Because the environment of the womb is most commonly ignored until assistive technology has failed, there is no vessel to receive these magnificent efforts.
According to a study in the European Journal of Obstetrics and Reproductive Biology (Volume 305, February 2025, Pages 86-91), “the presence of CE (chronic endometritis) has also been shown to reduce the possibility of conceiving spontaneously or by in -vitro fertilization, while antibiotic treatment of the disease has been found to improve pregnancy rates and complications.” Chronic endometritis was diagnosed in 50.91% of women with infertility. While left untreated, chronic endometritis negatively affects the possibility of both natural and assisted conception. For many woman, it’s like 900 iron chariots when they need antibiotics.
I remember coming into one of the offices for the first time on my birthday. The nurse looked at my information and she said, “You are already 37”. In general, the conversation was stilted. She gave us very brief responses to our questions and mentioned to us that ivf is very expensive. We were then given a 9th grade biology lesson. I was offered clomid and from there increasing levels of investments in assistive technogy.
Technology is not a problem in and of itself, it is a gift to many people with fertility challenges. It’s just that it was being used out of order- the Divine order. In the torah, if you want to receive Hashem’s blessing, you first and foremost must prepare a vessel. You don’t put in all your efforts and investments only to come back around and find out if you have a vessel for them. Because when you have a vessel you are naturally receptive to the blessings that G-d is sending your way.
The womb is the vessel of life. Thats why I believe reproductive technology has its greatest benefit in the hands of those who put the womb first and operate with binah- discernment and understanding.
After being on this journey, spending large sums of money, and demanding so much from my body, while having very little information to understand or address the underlying issues, I realized this was something I wanted to understand more deeply. My focus began shifting from hypervigilance, outputting and constant effort, toward receptivity- receiving what G-d has already prepared for me and believing that it is there. It’s definitely a new operating system for me- which I think is called faith.
Vatomer Devorah 
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